Hey! It's been a while since I last posted. I told myself "Ooh, Spring Break! I'm going to put sooo many posts blah, blah, blah." Well, so much for that, as it is Thursday of my Spring Break. Frankly, God has been teaching me plenty of things. The problem is that I have not been listening very well. Do you ever get in that circumstance where you really want God to transform you and you know He will, but the challenge seems so daunting that you almost avoid God because you are so overwhelmed? If not, and I'm the only one, then fine, but I'm sure at least one other person has had this feeling. It's not exactly that you are guilty or hiding something from God (trying to at least), but that in actuality, faith is running a little small in your heart right now. I have been feeling that way. It has not necessarily been lack of faith that God is working on me and helping me deal with unresolved issues, but lack of faith in myself paired with overassumption of my own power compared to God's.
It's easy to believe in our "era of perfection" that following God's will and letting him take the reins in our lives requires all of this perfect "seeking" on our parts. I feel like if I'm not praying hard enough or reading scripture enough or acting on faith enough or whatever (!) that I will miss out on what God has in store. He gave us free will, so if we just happen to avoid His plan, we can skip it altogether because He won't force it on us, right? This question has defined my life and my relationship with God far longer and stronger than I dare to admit. I am an intrapersonal, introverted person who has to get things done on my own terms, thus creating conflict when God assures me that all I have to do is sit back and trust Him. How on Earth do you do that? This is what I am learning and am in the middle of; learning how to actually let go and not just hope I happen to fall into His intended path while I am personally operating. I plan to post more about this too, so that issue will resurface plenty of times :).
This verse right here was one I read in a book at 3:30 last night (morning :/) that comforted me immensely. I found myself turning to God after some time of cordial shyness around Him. This verse deals with the issue of trusting God and trusting that YOU will not interfere with what God wants to do with you. Instead of getting paralyzed with fear when thinking of how much needs to be done within you to become more Christlike and to achieve that life and mission God intends, be comforted by this verse:
“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 1:6This verse tells us that when God begins transforming our lives, beginning with our salvation, He will not give up on us but instead will keep on striving to complete us. If we ask Him to come into our lives, then that gives Him the right then to use what He will, whether He compell us toward things through the Holy Spirit, tell us things through others, or even use our circumstances to continue molding us. Like the Potter and the Clay story, (…….) God wants to work in us to gradually restore us from the fallen creation that suffered after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit to the place we were all intended to be. Though we will not reach Eden while on this Earth, He desires to prepare our hearts to seek Him first and to where our lives glorify Him rather than rebel. This verse is a way of saying, “Don’t worry about achievement or failure here. I will not stop working on you. You are loved and are already in communion with me, which is the important thing. The rest is about seeking me, not about “how well” I can shape you up.” What matters is your heart, and if your heart desires to be Christlike as much as this Earth will allow, than that is all you need for God to be able to radically transform you. :D
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